The Bobs let me down

So, I am always trying to think up creative ways to use Twitter and express myself.  Of course, I have this account, but I have had many accounts in my short time on Twitter.  Not that anyone cares, but that’s what a blog is for, right?  Writing stuff that nobody gives a shit about?  But I digress.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day.  I remember reading about these groups of people who would all get together every so often to have a big party.  The one thing they all had in common was their first name.  I think the one that I remember was Mike.  Somehow, in the days before (gasp!) the Internet, people found a way to spread the word and they actually had a club for people named Mike.  They had a newsletter and everything.  At the time, I think I thought it was a little weird, but whatever.

I started wondering if the same could happen on Twitter.  I am always fascinated by the social science of tools like Twitter.  The fact that I can make hundreds of atheist friends on Twitter and not really know any of them is amazing.  Not only that, but they are friends all over the globe.  I don’t even like my real neighbors.  

There I go, digressing again.

So, I created a new account called something like @abunchofguysnamedbob.  Of course, that not really what it was because I don’t really want people to know my real first name.  I’m not really sure why, because I am sure that over a million people have my same first name.  In fact, there must be hundreds of people who have my same first and last name.  Google your name sometime if you want to see just how unique you really are.

Fucking digressing again!

My brilliant idea was to create the account such that the tweets were private.  The theory was that I would only let Bobs or Roberts follow me.  I set out searching Twitter for famous Bobs, Bobs that follow famous people or bands that I like.  It was going to be a blast.  In a short amount of time I had followed over 300 Bobs.  Then I waited.

Nothing.

Nothing.

I didn’t understand.  With my other accounts, if I were to follow 300+ people I would have at least gotten 10 or so followbacks.

I use my phone to access Twitter most of the time.  Because of that I don’t have all of the features that exist in the web version.  I decided to log in from my computer to see what was up.  

AHA!  My account was suspended.  That explains everything, right?  The Twitter alarm bells had gone off because I had been aggressively following people.  That, and because I had 0 followers.  I am sure that I fit the profile of a pornbot.  The cool thing is that they now have the process automated. All I had to do was click a few boxes promising not to do that anymore, I also promised to eat my vegetables and call my mother more often.

I got my account back.  Yay.  First thing I did was undo the private tweet thing.  I thought that must be the problem.

I sat back and expected the follows to happen.  Again, nothing.  Then, it happened!  I had 1 follower!  But, then I went to check a while later and that Bob was gone.  Shit.

I did get one more Bob to follow me, but he didn’t interact or anything.  I did try to interact with the other Bobs.  I replied to tweets.  I favorited tweets that I really did like.  I retweeted tweets that I really liked.  Nothing. 

Although I know I did not let the experiment last very long, it was still disappointing that out of 300 Bobs and Roberts, basically none of them bothered to follow back.  I know that’s not the point of Twitter.  Trust me, I know.  It’s just that the whole idea was to see how many Bobs I could meet from all walks of life.  

So, I have now unfollowed all 300 – the one Bob who still follows me.  I will leave it out there for a while, but my conclusion is that Bobs suck.

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